How to be Forever Alone

I'm going to start an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) group.  But instead of it being for alcoholics, it will be for people who are Forever Alone.

Hi.
My name is The Plot Twister,
And I am Forever Alone.

There are many ways to be forever alone.  It takes some people a little more time than others.  But that is okay because everyone can develop these skills:

1.  Smell like cat litter.

• The smell of cat little warrants off other people.  they begin to associate you with the small.  Eventually, they decide that being around you is not worth burning their nostrils.

2.  Talk about your Tumblr feed with EVERYONE.

• When I say everyone, I mean everyone.  even the crazy old lady down the block with the bat.  Everyone must know the ways of the Tumblr.

3.  Make internet friends.

• (Do not Catfish internet friends!) Internet friends do not know how you smell.  They like you based on your Tumblr, which brings me to skill #4.

4.  Have an amazing Tumblr.

• Internet people will think you are cool and totes not alone if you have an awesome Tumblr.  It's like high school, everyone wants to be friends with the pretty people.

5.  Become obsessed with a thing.

• Once you are obsessed with a thing, you have no need to fill an empty space.  You live for that thing.  You breathe that thing.  (5SOS is my thing)

So what have we learned?  It is very easy to be forever alone.  It will take some time, but when things get hard just remember you are working towards a lifetime with yourself and the computer.  

And every time you see a cute couple making out just turn your head and scroll down your Tumblr feed.  

Sincerely,

The Plot Twister